February... gone!

Hana - 2006
Hana - 2006
my mom and my brother

Robiana at Kissimmee's public library

Robiana having fun at one of the moonwalks


Robiana and I in front of the "Monument of States" in Kissimmee
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Three years ago today my very special friend, Shellie, received the most awaited referral call for her beautiful Hana. What a special day it was! After sending the dossier (paperwork) to China, I joined a couple of Yahoo groups ~ one from our adoption agency and the other from other “waiting” families whose documents were also submitted in April; referred as DTC in the Chinese adoption community. The latest became the April Pandas Yahoo group and I met some special and beautiful ladies through this group. Never before I had made friends this way; and the bond became strong and very special with one of them. Let me explain. Since we were now officially waiting, to keep our minds occupied, some ladies came with the wonderful idea of selecting a secret pal whom we would send a small gift every month. There was a theme for each month (5) and the last month, which we hoped/thought we would get the referral- November- our names would be revealed. This is how I got to know Shellie. Every month after I sent her small gifts, she would post a touching and sweet message. This was fun and I totally enjoyed getting her, her son and daughter stuff. After she finally “met” me, we continue our friendship through emails, phone calls and letters. I feel I have known her all my life and she and her family are very special and dear to me. Thank you, Shellie, for caring and always being so thoughtful!

Today we went shopping and to the park for a little while so Robiana could finally play outside the house. She has been sick all week and did not go to school 3 days. She was happy to run and jump in some moonwalks. We did not know these were going to be at the park as there was a community event. While there we met a gentleman who also adopted from China in June 2006. He told us they live in Ocoee (not that close) but he works in Kissimmee. He even showed us her picture. Adorable!!!!!!! We always welcome meeting other adoptive parents and talking about our experiences.

Now is time to go, fix dinner and start studying for a test.

But before I go, I want to share a letter I wrote for a class presentation I had last December. The topic was schizophrenia and the letter represented the *supposedly* thoughts from one of my brother’s who suffers this terrible illness. Today he celebrates his 45th birthday. David: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU BROTHER! Thank you for teaching me so much about what is truly important in life! May God bless you!


LETTER:

I was born on February 28, 1964 in Caguas, Puerto Rico. I am the third of 10 children. My childhood was considered a normal one. I was, however, described as being very introvert, always keeping to myself and with no friends. While in school, I had good grades…I enjoyed learning new things.

During my teenage years I began to experience strange and scare thoughts and feelings. I did not share these with anybody. My parents were busy raising a family and working. No one noticed anything different until I stopped going to school.
While in middle school, some students made fun of me and looked at me with strange faces. I often heard loud voices inside my head and saw people all over the place. I began carrying a knife to school as I needed to defend myself against=2 0those wanting to hurt me. Before long, I began having confrontations at school and I decided never to go there again. Both teachers and my parents were very puzzled by this as I never had any problems before and I have always had good grades.

After some serious bizarre behavior, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital...the first of many, many visits and stays, most of them against my will. I did not like the people, the food and simply that place. They began to medicate me, which I did not enjoy. My parents were told of the diagnosis: schizophrenia. They were confused, sad and my mother began to wonder if this was her fault. That same year, 1979, another of my brothers and my mother were in and out of the same psychiatric hospital…they suffered from bipolar disorder.

The first 10 or so years after being diagnosed with schizophrenia were very, very difficult for me and my family. No one in my family understood the illness much less my behavior. I was also incarcerated for months, but most of the time, I was hospitalized. Many times I tried to kill myself without success, though adding more pain for me and my family.

Today, 29 years later, I continue to receive treatment for my illness. It is “considered” under control. I would say that they have changed my meds many times, some with better effects than others. Although I don’t work or study, I often read the Bible and my hobby is to go around town looking for discarded lottery tickets. You would not believe the times I have found winning tickets! My family helps and supports me to the best of their ability. My mother is my hero, for putting up with me during my ups and downs and accepting me as I am.

My wish is for others to understand people like me. We don’t want to feel or act this way. We don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable or scared. We have no will, power or control over this illness. And we are not lazy people! I am here today because of God’s mercy, the medications and psychiatric intervention and my family.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!